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[笑話閑聊] 80后婚姻死在什么手上
P:2009-11-27 15:42:38
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“80后”的婚姻真的會死在房子上嗎？中國青年報社會調(diào)查中心對2429人(79.5％的人為“80后”，69.1％的人沒有自己的房子)進行的一項調(diào)查顯示，74.2％的人表示自己身邊的“80后”夫妻因為房子問題產(chǎn)生矛盾的人較多。
婚房應(yīng)由誰買單
在山東省濟南市某貿(mào)易公司工作的劉雷，和女友小琳相戀十年，大學(xué)時期兩地相思，找工作時歷盡種種艱辛終于留在了同一個城市。“我本想十年的等待終于可以畫上圓滿句號了，但是小琳提出結(jié)婚必須要有房子，以我的家庭條件和現(xiàn)在的收入，在市區(qū)買房太不現(xiàn)實了，就拒絕了她的要求。”沒想到僅僅半個月后，小琳就和別人結(jié)婚了，那個人準備了一套一百多平方米的房子�！昂髞砦也胖佬×找恢痹谖液湍莻�人之間猶豫，十年的情感本使我略勝一籌，但是就因為房子，我十年等待頃刻變得毫無意義�，F(xiàn)在別人一提到房子我就覺得憋屈，疼！”“我接觸的‘80后’因為房子問題離婚的確實比較多，但更多的是因為沒有房子而不結(jié)婚的。在他們看來，房子是婚姻必需品，甚至成了首要因素�！苯^對100婚戀網(wǎng)創(chuàng)始人、首席婚戀心理學(xué)專家茱莉說。
本次調(diào)查顯示，73.2％的人認為房子是婚姻必需品
“80后”女生孟菲菲說：“我們找朋友時看重房子等因素，也是出于對家庭、對孩子的長久考慮，但這并不代表我們不重感情，我們要求有物質(zhì)保障這沒有錯�！毙∶缀团盐撵o看了3個月的房子，最近終于看到了滿意的戶型和配套，但在房款問題上兩人產(chǎn)生了分歧，文靜認為小米至少應(yīng)獨自負擔首付，之后兩人一起承擔，而小米則認為首付就應(yīng)雙方共同承擔，吵來吵去沒有結(jié)果，他們的購房計劃也不得不暫時擱置。
調(diào)查中，66.3％的人選擇雙方共同負擔，20.8％的人認為買房就是男方的事，12.6％的人表示只要感情好，誰買房無所謂，僅有0.3％的人認為買房是女方的事。
上海政法學(xué)院女性研究中心主任陳曉敏表示，現(xiàn)在“80后”僅僅依靠男女雙方的力量去買房基本上不可能，大部分是兩個家庭拿出積蓄為年輕人買房，“有一句話是說‘80后’的，不怕某一方買不起房子，就怕兩個都買不起房子的人走到一起�！薄胺孔佑烧l來買并不重要，重要的是雙方在婚前做好協(xié)商，可以做好婚前公證，不應(yīng)局限于房子就是男方的事這樣的思維上，有能力的一方就多出一份力，畢竟日子是兩人一起過，只要兩人能過得幸福，誰來買單都可以。通過協(xié)商和公證只是為婚姻減少一些可能出現(xiàn)的矛盾。”資深婚戀咨詢專家、中國婚姻研究會成員周小鵬說。
如果結(jié)婚時沒有住房，35.6％的人選擇“不結(jié)婚”
如果結(jié)婚時沒有住房又買不起怎么辦？調(diào)查中，48.0％的人選擇租房，11.4％的人會和父母一起住，5.1％的人住單位宿舍，多達35.6％的人毅然選擇“不結(jié)婚”。38.9％的人表示自己身邊的“80后”因為沒房不結(jié)婚的人非常多，35.4％的人表示“比較多”。
茱莉認為，“80后”因為沒有房子不結(jié)婚很正常，“這有兩方面原因，其一，很多年輕人婚前就生活在一起了，等有了一定物質(zhì)基礎(chǔ)再買房結(jié)婚是比較的現(xiàn)實選擇。其二，很多年輕人將房子等物質(zhì)需求作為婚姻的重要指標，他們的婚姻更趨現(xiàn)實和物質(zhì)了。
電影《甲方乙方》里有段經(jīng)典對白。劉蓓說：“沒有愛情的婚姻是不幸福的�！备饍�(yōu)回答：“沒有房子的婚姻才是不幸福的�！闭{(diào)查顯示，52.8％的人認為“80后”夫妻會因為沒有房子不幸福，31.0％的人表示“不好說”，僅16.2％的人認為“80后”不會因為沒有房子而感到不幸福。
“房子僅僅是婚姻的一部分，婚姻的幸福與否如果由是否有房子來決定，那將是婚姻最大的不幸�！标悤悦粽f，婚姻是一個漫長的旅途，受到多方面因素的影響，其中最重要的就是兩個人基于共同價值觀基礎(chǔ)上的情投意合，這才是保證婚姻幸福的重要指數(shù)。
茱莉認為，房子有時僅是導(dǎo)火索，考驗的是兩人的相容度�！�80后”多為獨生子女，分享的概念較少，然而只有相容才能成就幸�；橐�。在構(gòu)成婚姻幸福的36個維度上，最為關(guān)鍵的幾個維度就是兩人的人生觀、價值觀、責任感、溝通方式、情緒穩(wěn)定性和興趣愛好。
李海濤和張國萍都供職于北京一家企業(yè)，月收入加起來只有5000元，結(jié)婚后他們租了一套60多平方米的房子，然后將大臥室出租，他們選擇住在十幾平方米的小臥室。租了大臥室的王曉亮剛開始有很多不理解的地方：“為什么兩個人要住小屋？我請他們出去吃飯他們都婉言謝絕，周末他們基本上也不出去玩，他們一般都是請朋友到家里來自己動手做飯。后來有一天，他們做了一頓豐盛的晚飯邀我一起吃，告訴我房子裝修好了要搬家了，我才知道，他們倆每個月的生活費只有1700多元，其余都省下來供房。像他們夫妻倆一起奔著一個目標奮斗，哪怕當下的路再難走，也是一種幸福�！�
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,當然是房子無敵了.. P:2009-12-03 09:04:54
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Father Frost
In a far-away country, somewhere in Russia, there lived a stepmother who had a stepdaughter and also a daughter of her own. Her own daughter was dear to her, and always whatever she did the mother was the first to praise her, to pet her; but there was but little praise for the stepdaughter; although good and kind, she had no other reward than reproach. What on earth could have been done? The wind blows, but stops blowing at times; the wicked woman never knows how to stop her wickedness. One bright cold day the stepmother said to her husband:
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"Now, old man, I want you to take your daughter away from my eyes, away from my ears. You shall not take her to your people into a warm hut. You shall take her into the wide, wide fields to the crackling frost."
The old father grew sad, began even to weep, but nevertheless helped the young girl into the sleigh. He wished to cover her with a sheepskin in order to protect her from the cold; however, he did not do it. He was afraid; his wife was watching them out of the window. And so he went with his lovely daughter into the wide, wide fields; drove her nearly to the woods, left her there alone, and speedily drove away--he was a good man and did not care to see his daughter's death. Following continue. wow gold,
Alone, quite alone, remained the sweet girl. Broken-hearted and terror-stricken she repeated fervently all the prayers she knew.
Father Frost, the almighty sovereign at that place, clad in furs, with a long, long, white beard and a shining crown on his white head, approached nearer and nearer, looked at this beautiful guest of his and asked:
"Dost you know me?--me, the red-nosed Frost?"
"Be welcome, Father Frost," answered gently the young girl. "I hope our heavenly Lord sent you for my sinful soul."
"Are you comfortable, sweet child?" again asked the Frost. He was exceedingly pleased with her looks and mild manners.wedding dress,
"Indeed I am," answered the girl, almost out of breath from cold.
And the Frost, cheerful and bright, kept crackling in the branches until the air became icy, but the good-natured girl kept repeating:
"I am very comfortable, dear Father Frost."
But the Frost, however, knew all about the weakness of human beings; he knew very well that few of them are really good and kind; but he knew no one of them even could struggle too long against the power of Frost, the king of winter. The kindness of the gentle girl charmed old Frost so much that he made the decision to treat her differently from others, and gave her a large heavy trunk filled with many beautiful, beautiful things. He gave her a rich cloak lined with precious furs; he gave her silk quilts--light like feathers and warm as a mother's lap. What a rich girl she became and how many magnificent garments she received! And besides all, old Frost gave her a blue dress ornamented with silver and pearls. This site is on the Crushers：crusher。
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When the young girl put it on she became such a beautiful maiden that even the sun smiled at her.
The stepmother was in the kitchen busy baking pancakes for the meal which it is the custom to give to the priests and friends after the usual service for the dead.
"Now, old man," said the wife to the husband, "go down to the wide fields and bring the body of thy daughter; we will bury her."
The old man went off. And the little dog in the corner wagged his tail and said:
"Bow-wow! bow-wow! the old man's daughter is on her way home, beautiful and happy as never before, and the old woman's daughter is wicked as ever before."
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"Keep still, stupid beast!" shouted the stepmother, and struck the little dog. Went to eat, while repeat.
"Here, take this pancake, eat it and say, 'The old woman's daughter will be married soon and the old man's daughter shall be buried soon.'"
The dog ate the pancake and began anew:
"Bow-wow! bow-wow! the old man's daughter is coming home wealthy and happy as never before, and the old woman's daughter is somewhere around as homely and wicked as ever before."
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The old woman was furious at the dog, but in spite of pancakes and whipping, the dog repeated the same words over and over again.
Father Frost
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